Sunday, July 20, 2008

How to Annoy Your Bean In Five Easy Steps

Step One: Crawl on your bean's chest and meow in their face to wake them. (This may be sufficient right here. If not, and your bean actually says "hello" and pets you nicely, your bean is WIERD and you must proceed to step two.)
Step Two: Allow yourself to be petted and begin purring. Keep purring until you start drooling from happiness. This works even better if you have persistent nausea issues which make you an even droolier cat to begin with.
Step Three: Put your face an inch away from the bean's face and shake your head, getting drool over every single inch of the bean.
Step Four: When the bean yells at you for this, demand that the half-awake bean let you out of the bedroom, whose door is closed because it is summer and they have the window air conditioning on.
Step Five: As they are just getting over being annoyed at you, scratch to be let back in to the bedroom.
Mission Accomplished!!!
Testimonial from MomBean here...he tried this this morning and it worked wonders for getting me annoyed at him! :)


Alasandra said...

Our Mom is a very sound sleeper. Scylla found a terrific way to annoy her. Jump up on Mom and meow to be petted. If she doesn't wake up and pet you, nip her on the nose. Believe me that will get any bean up.

~Socks, Scylla & Charybdis

PS: Mom said we should warn you that not all beans are as nice as her, so there might be serious repercussions to nipping especially on the nose.

Sabrina, Sam and Simon said...

Texas, we feel that it is our mission in life to annoy our beans ... you are doing well at it too! But then don't we always do something really cute afterwards that makes them forget all about it? Hee hee! Hope you are feeling well today furriend! Have a Happy Sunday!
Purrs and headbutts,
Sabrina, Sam and Simon

ZOOLATRY said...

We have a small suspicion that no one would ever really and truly be annoyed by Texas... no matter what he might do! Right? Right!

Mickey said...

Those are great steps!!
Walking on the bladder is another good one,heehee
I bet your beans love you at bedtime!!
Purrs Mickey

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Yup.Sounds like us in the morning. I don't drool but I set the stage for Gemini who does...

Whicky Wuudler said...

Very sound advice Texie!

Lux said...

You know, I think your idea just might work! ;-)

Eric and Flynn said...

Yep we think that should work.
Flynn: I am very good and sleep on mum's legs or under the covers snuggled up to her tummy. I don't move until she gets out of bed.
Eric: I sleep on the Bean's heads, and if I get up in the night and the food is getting low, I walk over their heads to and fro, to and fro.Mum shouts that I am pulling her hair out by the roots.

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Drooling doesn't work wif our mom...she's used to it from Speedy doing it alla time. We find stepping on her bladder or biting da back of her legs works real good tho.

Dragonheart & Merlin said...

That sounds like a great way to wake your humans up!

Thank you so much for celebrating my birthday with me! I really appreciate it. - Dragonheart